What I was thinkin' today.

I like dreamin’, ‘cause dreaming can make you mine. I like dreamin’; closing my eyes and feelin’ fine. Well, not so much ‘fine’ as terrified and sick. You see, I come from a race of people who gave up their ability to dream long ago in exchange for the power to battle Vampires. We only have nightmares now, horrifying visions of blood and fire and the possibility of a new Police Academy sequel. But I needn’t tell you. Most likely you’re here because you can’t sleep either. Am I right? Are you prowling the Internet in the hope of finding something new and exciting? Good for you. Sleep is for punks and soft ice cream salesmen. Or is it sales-persons? I can’t keep up with the new lingo. I bathe regularly…and sometimes irregularly. But suffice to say I’m clean. When I go to the market or one of those large ‘everything’ stores, I spend long hours smelling the soaps and body washes. I need just the right scent if I’m going to head out into the night and fight Vampires. Thought I forgot about that part, didn’t you? I am strong like a Russian bear. Why Russian? Because American bears pride themselves on looks and not strength, and Canadian bears…well, don’t get me started on their lazy asses. Back to the lecture. Ham Tyler actually liked Mike Donovan; don’t think he didn’t. Sure he called Mike ‘Gooder’ to make fun of him, but when the fight was on, Ham was right there in the thick of it. Kind of makes you think, doesn’t it? I’m part Indian. No one in my family will tell me if that means Native American or from India, so I’m stuck with a lot more holidays than I think I need. Remember when breakfast cereal had real sugar in it? I miss those days. ‘Unctuous’; that’s the word I was trying to remember. Dang, I hate when I can’t recall a word. Now I’m gonna have to phone that guy back. See ya!